Empowerment in a Dangerous World

No stranger to the epidemic that has plagued the country, Taekwondo instructor, student and bullying-survivor, Laura Kowkabany has dedicated her life to creating a safe, positive environment for adults and children to learn the skills necessary to defend from an attack. More importantly, she focuses on implementing respect and confidence in all of her students, providing them with the assistance they need to feel safe and supported.
Bullying is an issue parents and children alike are experiencing. In a world driven by impatience and narcissism, it’s difficult to find a place where you can feel safe, while learning to become stronger. The toll of bullying is just as painful emotionally as it is physically and not everyone finds the help they need.
No stranger to being physically assaulted while on school property, Laura shares her story with her students. It is because of her open and honest nature that her students aren’t afraid to talk about their problems. In turn, Laura and the family work together to seek a safe resolution.
“Here at Kowkabany’s Taekwondo School, our students are our family. I emphasize they are not alone. The doors are always open. If they reach out, there will always be help.”
Over three million students are bullied every year and the necessary assistance isn’t always there, with only four percent of teachers intervening (DoSomething.org). Laura Kowkabany found herself in the same position as millions when she was only thirteen years old.
Alone, cornered and in a time of racial tensions, young Laura was assaulted for refusing to give her attackers money. Even after being physically assaulted, she refused to give in. With no authorities willing to intervene and Laura refusing to give up, the gang of young woman threatened her with mutilation.
“Bullying occurs when there is an imbalance of power, perceived or actual, and it occurs in repeated patterns. In these situations, it is not possible for the person being bullied to handle it themselves, they need to get assistance,” Laura says.
Breaking her silence, Laura turned to her mother, who quickly agreed that her daughter needed a more productive way to fight back, signing her up for Taekwondo at the YMCA that very day. It was a positive decision, one that comes highly recommended. Self-defense provides both concrete and flexible skills, which includes interpersonal and environmental awareness, assertiveness, boundary-setting, physical strikes and community-building – all tools to help with harassment and bullying (Taylor & Wanamaker, 2014).
What was a necessity to stay safe became a drive to do more. While the torment in school ceased after Laura began training, her life was not without obstacles. Her newest challenge was sexism, with some men taking out their issues on one of the few women daring to participate in the sport.
“Some guys were more vocal than others, but I was determined that I was going to do this, and the instructor treated me fairly. As the years passed, more girls started training, but up through the 80s, it was still primarily a male domain. Being somewhat competitive in nature, the comments from the guys simply pushed me to prove that I could do anything they could do. I knew how to work hard, and I’ve always had an internal drive that refuses to give up. The harder the challenge, the harder I worked to overcome it.”
Now, Laura runs her own school, along with her husband and best friend. Knowing her story, David Kowkabany doesn’t want anyone to feel as hopeless as his wife once did. Together, they share their past and present journeys with their students so that they know even successful, strong people have hurdles to overcome.
To her students, Laura is an instructor and a mentor. To the parents, she is the woman that teaches their children to believe they are worth it. To her community, Laura Kowkabany is an inspiration.